“Mean what you say and say what you mean.” A saying I hear frequently but few actually do. Either individuals are fearfully people pleasing or low self-worth with a desire to appear important creates a vicious cycle where people speak or do things that aren’t really in alignment with the true individual they are on a daily basis. People don’t say what they really mean or really even give much thought to what they are saying. A conversation will start out with “It’s funny how…” yet they don’t think the situation is funny they are referring to something irritating to them that causes frustration. So what they really mean is “It’s so frustrating that…” because let’s face it we aren’t looking for someone to say they find it funny, we’re looking for someone to validate that they understand or agree with our point of view. Personally I’ve found that frequently the trouble isn’t always ALL me, though I’ll agree sometimes it is, instead the individual is projecting traits of themselves they dislike onto me yet the real trouble lies within themselves. So if it’s actually their issue why pick it up as if it’s mine because it’s not, even if I may have displayed even a hint of it in the past it’s not me. So, no thank you, I’m not going to accept it nor will I be able to influence the individual to release it so I’ll just let it be. Harshness isn’t authentic it’s just bullying, there’s always a way to share a differing opinion without being brutal. Love is gentle and kind not abusive. If I won’t allow someone to beat me physically why would I allow someone to mentally or emotionally beat me or belittle me; truthfully nobody should allow that. We all have struggles in our lives and often they are plentiful but sometimes we appear to be on easy street and just as we don’t want people to make false assumptions we also shouldn’t falsely assume we understand all the facets of someone's life. We shouldn’t have an over inflated sense of ego but we also shouldn’t be completely defeated. Find the value in yourself and if you can’t find it grasp hold of the value others see in you. Accept your flaws and try to better yourself but don’t allow anyone to devalue you.
20 Things Authentic People Do Differently
August 17, 2015 by Power of Positivity
When you meet authentic people living through their soul, and not choosing the scripted life that society tells us we must live, it almost feels like a part of you has become liberated, too. People living authentically show us that we can live by what ideals WE feel most drawn to, instead of those already set for us.
Granted, it does take a lot of inner work to understand who you truly are, beyond the limitations and boundaries that others insist we abide by, but the journey is truly worth it once you begin to see yourself clearly.
Are you living authentically or not? These signs will help you decide, and maybe invite you to find yourself a little more.
Here are 20 things authentic people do differently:
1. They voice their opinions clearly and firmly, even if others may not agree.
People who march to the beat of their own drum are used to others disagreeing with them; however, this doesn’t stop them from living the life that feels most fulfilling in their hearts.
2. Authentic people choose a career path that resonates with them, not one that everyone else believes is best.
They know that by doing what they love, instead of doing what pays the bills, they have unlocked a huge part of what it means to follow your bliss. They simply cannot spend a large part of their life doing something that makes them feel dead inside.
3. They bring their own energy to the world, instead of being influenced by others’ frequencies.
People living authentically can honor and respect others’ energies, without feeling affected by them
4. They don’t fear taking the path less traveled in life.
They feel comfortable taking their own road, even if they have to venture down it alone for a while
5. Authentic people have fallen in love with themselves, and wouldn’t want to be anyone else.
They have mended their wounds and treated their insecurities, and now know the bliss of truly loving themselves
6. They feel so comfortable with themselves, that they give others permission to be themselves, too.
They make others feel free without having to say a word. Their energy speaks for itself.
7. Authentic people do things their way, and usually don’t follow the crowd..even if it means not having as many friends.
They probably spend a lot of time alone, but they have learned to love their own company and really get to know themselves.
8. They don’t take comments or criticisms about themselves personally. They know that others may not like them, but as long as they love themselves, that’s all that truly matters.
When you love yourself, the whole world shifts its winds in your favor
9. They seek out friends and partners who value deep conversations and an emotional connection, not gossip or sensational news.
They just don’t have the energy for meaningless, hollow relationships any longer. They crave life-changing, beautiful relationships built on love, respect, and compassion.
10. Authentic people keep a positive outlook on life, even if they find themselves in tough situations.
A positive mind = a positive life.
11. They listen more, and talk less. Those living authentically know there’s much to be learned in silence.
Authentic people don’t usually like to gab too much about themselves. They would rather learn from others’ experiences.
12. Authentic people usually have some sort of daily ritual they follow, such as meditation or yoga, in order to remain centered and in touch with themselves.
Quiet time to connect with themselves is very important to them.
13. They love with all their heart, and never hold back how they feel just to keep others comfortable.
They aren’t afraid to offer their love to people, even if it means they might get hurt in the process.
14. Authentic people have a lot of self-confidence; they don’t hold back who they are.
To free yourself, you must be yourself.
15. They don’t wish anything bad on anyone; they truly want everyone to thrive in life and become the best versions of themselves.
They love everyone, because they have cultivated it within themselves.
16. Authentic people have moved past their egos, and live harmoniously with all life on Earth.
They don’t have to fight for their place here; they move through life with ease and grace.
17. They find beauty even in the most humble of places.
They know that your perspective determines your perception, and constantly work on balancing their own energies and creating a positive mindset.
18. People living authentically will never stay in a bad situation, even if leaving it means marching into the unknown.
They love themselves enough to get out of a negative situation, no matter how comfortable they once felt there.
19. Authentic people allow others to have opinions without getting offended by them.
They can tolerate others without their egos wanting to get the upperhand.
20. They see people for the souls that lie within, and hardly even notice people for their personal appearance any longer.
They notice people’s hearts and character before their physical appearance.
Since I've decided to start writing more often and I'm opening up my thoughts more publicly I thought I would share some of the more personal today.
For most of my life I've felt as though I didn't belong and struggled with finding any value within. For as long as I can remember I've been a listener more than a communicator. Sometimes I would just reassure that I understood the joy or pain the individual felt and sometimes I would offer advice or be a mediator in a disagreement. I've been through difficult and sometimes earth shattering experiences and though I've been shaken I eventually always try to find what is useful and learn to re-frame it for good. I've always been sensitive and sometimes I would unconsciously take on the emotions or moods of those I was around. When I see suffering and struggle I feel an intense sadness and pain; I want to help or fix the situation and I grow increasingly impatient with people that appear to show no mercy or offer compassion. I've never felt comfortable with conflict and have pushed aside my own thoughts and feelings in a futile attempt to keep the peace. Choices I've made in life have brought me both happiness and pain; at times others were hurt, which was never intended, and yet often I've been left with the guilt and knowledge there's little I could do to undo the damage.
Honestly there's nobody on earth just like me and there's no way I could be just like someone else. We all have our own experiences, thoughts, beliefs and emotions, we are all imperfect and have much to learn. But we are all valuable, we all have some part of us we can contribute to help others. Sometimes in helping others we are really helping ourselves because we learn and we grow. I strongly believe my victories and my failures can serve as a way to encourage others. Some may say I'm too sensitive in a way that indicates I'm flawed but I say I'm sensitive enough that it can be a strength. My hope and prayer is that by sharing my experiences, thoughts or emotions I can bring hope, peace and encouragement to others.
A friend said my words seemed to jump off the paper and offer a sense that I was there speaking and encouraged me to write saying I had an old soul and could offer wisdom to others. So here I am today writing and sharing with you. Do I have anything profound to share or do I believe I have all the answers to life? The answer to those questions end with a resounding no. I choose to share my thoughts and experiences as a way to offer a message: to those like me, you are not alone; to those that are vastly different the message, life is often messy don't shut your eyes to the struggles of others and don't deny that you have struggles of your own.
No life isn't perfect, as a matter of fact we all make poor decisions. If you think your decisions and actions don't impact the lives of others around you then you are fooling yourself and allowing yourself to remain blind. We all have hurts and have experienced moments when our peace is attempted to be shaken and at times the attempt was successful. We all value our privacy but forget to respect another's privacy. What happens too frequently is most make judgements based on what little they think is known by things heard, seen or according to the degree of sin we see in another. Fact of life is there is probably a thing or two we all wouldn't like others to know about our life. If you don't want to be placed under a microscope don't place others under one. Love one another and accept that we all have weakness, we stumble and at times fall. If you can't help, encourage or be happy for someone then at the least don't contribute to their undoing.
Sometimes it almost surprises me when I see someone I would closely consider an enemy hurting and I feel bad for them. The human flesh in me at times wants them to hurt as bad as they have hurt me but then compassion and a little empathy will peak through because they too have had their share of hurts. We all have painful situations we face and often those are results of choices we have made but I don't enjoy seeing anyone struggle. Maybe this is an area of growth and I'm learning as the Bible says to love my enemies, I'm not perfect at it by any means and sometimes it's a daily battle. Still trying to get to where I can pray for them but I know it's something I should do, I believe ultimately it will bring me some peace through being obedient to God
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; (Matthew 5:44 KJV)
Dear Lord, I come to you today confessing my sins and asking your forgiveness. I am claiming your word "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9 KJV)" In the storms of my life I have often lost my focus and became focused on the situation instead of on you. I have forgotten that even during the most intense and painful situations you have been right beside me often carrying me when I could go no further. Though at times I've misunderstood and been angry and hurt because I feared I was left unprotected I am so grateful you see the big picture and know what greater good the trials will work in my life. Forgive me for too often being a poor example of your grace when I have taken matters into my own hands and hastily have attempted to obtain the vengeance against those that have wronged me. I ask that you extend your grace and forgiveness to those individuals as well as myself. Where your salvation has not been received I pray I did not hinder them from one day coming to know the power of your saving grace and I pray they find forgiveness in their heart for me one day. Forgive me Lord for stubbornly holding onto the hurts, irritations, bitterness and unforgiveness instead of fully releasing them to you. I have hindered you from working through my life and on my life and I ask you to take complete control of every aspect that has been hindered. I ask for your strength to get me through the challenging times, ask you to help me love as you love, and to provide your healing of my heart and the hearts of those I have hurt. Please help me to view others how you view them. I have many flaws and am so thankful you love me despite them and you have not given up on working on me. Please forgive me and help me, I am nothing without you. I love you Lord and I give every aspect of my life over to you, I am your child and need your guidance today and everyday. Thank you for all you have done and all that you are going to do in my life. I ask all these things in Jesus name. Amen
We all have so many emotions that can change from moment to moment sometimes leaving us wondering why we really felt that way. Positive emotions are always welcomed and often not questioned but there are times anger or sadness can pop up when least expected. If not dealt with properly our anger can lead to bitterness and hostility and our sadness or disappointment can lead to depression. Looking back on my own life I have found that feeling “less than” has been the primary trigger of these negative emotions for me. Through the times I have stumbled and struggled I would see others that seemingly had or did everything perfectly and the feelings of inadequacy or being “less than” would come pouring in. Other times I would wonder how some people could do so much while I was only able to do so little. I could find myself spiraling into anger or depression if there was a difference of opinion or even the slightest indication of disapproval, at some point I linked disapproval with not being loved or being thought of as unworthy or “less than”. The change in my focus along with the strength and power of God has helped me overcome the toughest of these emotions and over time it has improved. Every now and then the struggle reappears and I have had to remind myself this is going to be a daily battle considering the fact we are not always in control of circumstances or other people and the devil is going to do anything possible to defeat and discourage us. We will often unconsciously find supporting evidence for our thoughts and then begin to believe it must be true.
We say we love God but how are we showing Him that we love Him? Love isn't just a feeling it is an action, the Bible shows us this in 1 John 3:18 “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” God loved us so much He sent His only begotten son to die in atonement for our sins. (John 3:16) God created us to fellowship with Him but our sin separates us from Him. How amazing it is when you realize He gave His son so we could be saved and continue in fellowship with Him. God showed us He loved us “Romans 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Yes, we are saved when we accept Jesus as Saviour but it must be heartbreaking to God when that becomes the only true fellowship we have with Him. We agonize when we do not hear from our relatives, sometimes we wonder if we have done something wrong or if perhaps they love their busy life more than us. God KNOWS we love Him just as we know our family still loves us but when we are too busy to pray or read our Bible we aren't as close to God as we should be and we aren't putting our love into action. While it is true that God knows our needs He still wants us to talk to Him through prayer and He talks to us through His word the Bible. Being close to God is how we gain our strength (Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.). This means that we need to go to Him in prayer at all times not just when we need something. “1Thessalonians 5:17 Pray without ceasing.” Most of us have experienced a time when we know that someone contacts us only when they want something or we hear I love you and just know a request is soon to be made. We don't need to get to that point when we say I love you God and He asks what is it you want. Talk (pray) to God about everything you won't bore Him, He wants to hear from us. He doesn't expect us to use our own strength so pray even if you are ashamed of whatever it is because you cannot surprise God. Through His word (the Bible) God speaks to us; He has the best guidance, counseling, comfort and provision but we have to read it and listen to Him. We often get frustrated when people don't listen to what we say, won't hear us or they treat our say as worthless. When we don't read God's word and aren’t praying isn't that exactly what we are doing to God? When we get too busy aren’t we really showing that everything else in our life is more important to us than God. Show God you love Him by making sure that you pray and read His word. You gain your strength from God and if you don't do these two things your works for Him aren’t as effective and are being carried out in your own strength. So in all the busyness we need to remember to pause and show God we love Him. Are you showing Him that you love Him?
Where I have been has brought me to where I am today, good and bad. Though I’ve made some bad choices along the way and surely life would have been easier if I hadn’t made those choices, I’m not who I once was. I can’t even begin to count how many times I have gotten upset when someone brings up something I’ve done wrong in the past. The irritation of knowing that there are times I’m not given a chance because of something I’ve done before. The anger and hurt that sets in because I feel not good enough, condemned and rejected. If I’m not careful the flesh takes over and I start to go over all their imperfections and mistakes in my mind and think “who do they think they are fooling themselves thinking they are without fault”. It’s then that I have to remind myself that I’m doing the exact same thing the other person was doing. I also have to wonder how many times I’ve not given someone a chance because I’ve held their past wrongs against them and I have to remind myself that maybe they aren’t the person they once were either. I have to remember that people can change as I myself changed. How do people change? Don’t we often hear the saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”? In reality people can change. The Bible teaches us that once you become saved you are a new man because you are born again of the spirit, “2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” As long as we are in Christ we are a new man and old things are passed away. Sometimes when we can slip away and become distant from God we can find ourselves going back to the way we were before because we are no longer in Christ. The remedy of that problem is easy, go back to God and be renewed. “Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” We can decide daily to resist going back to the way we were and determine to not make the same mistakes. What we do today and this day forward is what rebuilds our past. We are not without flaws and neither were the people in the Bible. Many of those named in the Bible committed some devastating sins yet they went on to be used in great ways by God. We shouldn’t get discouraged by our past, instead we need to determine to keep moving forward through the power God provides us. “2 Corinthians 4:16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.” Are you a new man and is your inward man renewed day by day or are you stuck in your past? I’m not who I once was.
I've been told before that I'm too sensitive. Really what is being too sensitive? By definition sensitive is being quick to detect or respond to slight changes, signals, or influences. Being a sensitive person isn't a bad thing as long as it moves you to react with compassion. To have compassion is to have deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it. Often when you are more sensitive than the person pointing out your sensitivity "fault" they will consider you too sensitive. Sometimes you can be perceived as too sensitive because you voice getting your feelings hurt or because things get to you more quickly than it does others. Often the lack of compassion people have can be tied directly into their lack of sensitivity. People may not be sensitive because they haven’t allowed themselves to learn how or they may have hardened their heart due to past hurts. I believe we should be sensitive and that allowing your sensitivity to direct you into the right actions is admirable and directed by God. Jesus spoke of having compassion to a servant who's debt was forgiven but had demanded payment of a debt owed him, "Matthew 18:33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?" The Bible tells us God has compassion, "Psalms 145:8 The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy." We are also taught how Jesus was moved with compassion and healed the sick, He was moved with compassion and taught the multitude of over 5,000 and fed them with 5 loaves and 2 fishes having compassion on them, He had compassion for the widow of Nain whose son had died and He raised the son from the dead. If Jesus is our example and He showed compassion then shouldn’t we do the same? Consider "Romans 12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep." How can you rejoice or weep with others when you are not sensitive to them and have compassion for them? “1 John 3:17 But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?” How then can we justify shutting up our bowels of compassion? While we do need to exercise the spiritual discernment that comes when we are close to God and using His spirit to see the circumstances in the right light we also need to realize it's not up to us to pick and choose who is deserving of our compassion. "Romans 12:16 Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits." If we want others to have compassion for us then we should likewise have compassion for them. Jesus tells us, “Luke 6:31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” We should exercise caution how we allow our sensitivity to affect us and not react the wrong way; “Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:”, these were are all examples of ways we can improperly respond to our sensitivity. Allowing our sensitivity to result in compassion helps us properly respond and allows the following actions to be easier to follow, “Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” So how do we allow ourselves to be sensitive? “1 Peter 3:8-9 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.”
I'm a wife of 20 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 6 babies waiting for me up in Heaven. I'm imperfect, often broken and learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. You will find no condemnation from me. I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings God has given both in happiness and pain. I don't have any formal education in Biblical Studies and I don't claim to be an expert. I'm just sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life.