As we gather around to say Goodbye to you today
There are so many emotions words are hard for us to say
Only 96 days, your life was brief but each day was such a treasure
Mommy, Daddy, Brother and both Sisters loved you beyond measure
Grandparents, family and friends loved you and were eager to see your face
But today we all have to say farewell until we each finish our own race
Ean: God is Gracious and Gift From God is the meaning of your name
Though now you’re in Heaven our hopes and dreams for you are not the same
Although we try to remain strong our love spills out with each tear
But we are encouraged knowing you are forever with Jesus year after year
By God’s Grace you never knew suffering and from the cares of life you are free
And when we finally meet and embrace what a glorious day that will be!
November 4, 2017
What you don’t know
©2015 Helena C
There are secrets you wouldn't understand and don’t know.
The struggles I face they help me grow!
The ones I didn’t choose yet I’ve had to face,
Sometimes all alone and meant to be at my pace.
You think you know of all my pains,
Yet I do not speak of the awful chains.
The chains that held me; to keep me down.
The ones you placed on me to help me drown.
Yes, today I know the sins I had shared;
With a world that left me so utterly alone and scared.
I choose to look forward and continue to fight; a fight you are unable to believe or see.
The precious crimson blood that washed me clean, He shed His blood for me!
A price that for all mankind including myself was paid;
And at His feet my burdens have been laid!
Each day I reach to attain new heights;
I'll keep reaching although others may try to blur my sight.
I fall so often, yet I’ll complete this race!
I’m not perfect just saved by God’s amazing grace!!
We all go through struggles in life and whenever we believe we are strong the devil will find whatever our weakness is and attempt to use it to destroy us. The devil made an attack on our family and almost succeeded in destroying everything I held dear. I had finally released my own past and old hurts and had grown stronger in Him so the devil used this to invoke anger at God for not protecting us or stopping it and attempted to prove to me that I just wasn't valuable to God. The fog and bitterness I was in for a time because of the pain was almost unbearable but being a good example for my kids and others around me was my driving force to not give in and not give up. The teachings I heard in the past and during this time run through my mind over and over again and helped me to forgive and strengthened my resolve to continue the fight to hold my family together, my heart would not be whole without them. God allowed the tough times to make me stronger, show me what was important in life and so helped me better understand what others go through so that someday I may help them through the fog too. I'm no longer merely getting through day to day but I am living and I know without a doubt I am valuable to God and Christ is my strength. So the words of the poem I wrote ring just as true now as the day I wrote them.
Written January 3, 2012 by: Helena
I was a shell of a person I was struggling to cope
But as I grew closer Lord, you showed me there’s hope
I tried so long to do it on my own, I struggled to be strong
The fumbling and stumbling was allowed to show me I was doing it all wrong
All I had to do was turn it all over to you and let it all go
Now I have more peace than I ever thought I’d know
Drawing closer to you brought me such joy
I will remain alert and not fall for Satan’s ploy
Satan promises so many things that will never be true
It robs us of all hope and joy in all that we do
But Jesus you are a faithful, loving and kind friend
You will forever be with us with a love that does not end
Help me to help others so through you I can show them the way
That through your salvation and closeness to you we are conquerors every day
I'm a wife of 20 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 6 babies waiting for me up in Heaven. I'm imperfect, often broken and learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. You will find no condemnation from me. I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings God has given both in happiness and pain. I don't have any formal education in Biblical Studies and I don't claim to be an expert. I'm just sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life.