“Mean what you say and say what you mean.” A saying I hear frequently but few actually do. Either individuals are fearfully people pleasing or low self-worth with a desire to appear important creates a vicious cycle where people speak or do things that aren’t really in alignment with the true individual they are on a daily basis. People don’t say what they really mean or really even give much thought to what they are saying. A conversation will start out with “It’s funny how…” yet they don’t think the situation is funny they are referring to something irritating to them that causes frustration. So what they really mean is “It’s so frustrating that…” because let’s face it we aren’t looking for someone to say they find it funny, we’re looking for someone to validate that they understand or agree with our point of view. Personally I’ve found that frequently the trouble isn’t always ALL me, though I’ll agree sometimes it is, instead the individual is projecting traits of themselves they dislike onto me yet the real trouble lies within themselves. So if it’s actually their issue why pick it up as if it’s mine because it’s not, even if I may have displayed even a hint of it in the past it’s not me. So, no thank you, I’m not going to accept it nor will I be able to influence the individual to release it so I’ll just let it be. Harshness isn’t authentic it’s just bullying, there’s always a way to share a differing opinion without being brutal. Love is gentle and kind not abusive. If I won’t allow someone to beat me physically why would I allow someone to mentally or emotionally beat me or belittle me; truthfully nobody should allow that. We all have struggles in our lives and often they are plentiful but sometimes we appear to be on easy street and just as we don’t want people to make false assumptions we also shouldn’t falsely assume we understand all the facets of someone's life. We shouldn’t have an over inflated sense of ego but we also shouldn’t be completely defeated. Find the value in yourself and if you can’t find it grasp hold of the value others see in you. Accept your flaws and try to better yourself but don’t allow anyone to devalue you.
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Authentically ME
I'm a wife of 25 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 7 babies waiting for me in Heaven. I'm imperfect, often feel broken and I'm always learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. Though the ups and downs in this journey through life I have learned and am learning so much, I'll never stop learning. I hold myself to impossible standards yet I know I am imperfect and will keep trying, I keep dusting myself off and getting up to go again. I understand the uniqueness of every situation and person, I am ME and others are who they choose to be; I don't have to agree with you or you agree with me. I make no secret of my standards, do NOT harm children, do NOT destroy others health (physical, mental, spiritual or financial); that's my boundaries and what it takes to have access to me. If this is too much to ask feel free to move along and I let go with love and genuinely want the best for your present and future. Healing isn't a place of arrival, it's continuous, I have healed from many things and I am still healing; like an onion healing comes in layers, like the tides; healing comes in ebbs and flows. I love, I observe, I learn and forgetting the past/history leads to cycles of chaos and I refuse to forget and not remember; I will continue learning from the lessons. I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings I have received both in happiness and pain. I don't have any licenses in Biblical Studies, or Health (physical, mental, spiritual, financial). I have background in military, health, service of others and individual trainings and research; I don't claim to be an expert on anything and I advise you to research and advocate for yourself as well as consult professionals. I'm sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life. Choose to remember but not fear, choose to enjoy the now and cherish priceless moments; look forward to changes knowing that lessons will come and more beautiful glimpses, love and joy are all available when you look closely at times from your past, moments within your present and the possibilities from your tomorrows. I am a survivor, I love deeply, I am a truth finder and I am a warrior, I am ME. Know you have strength, you have value, you are enough, you are worthy of peace and happiness, your boundaries are yours and it's okay to enforce them, you are loved, you are missed, you deserve support, your goodness to people and the world is noticed, you deserve to heal, your voice matters and you deserve to be seen and heard; best of all love yourself in your uniqueness flaws and all. Archives
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