Remolding Clay
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      • Pictures of Ean. He was not full term, he was 13w2d when his heart stopped and he stopped growing, he was born 13w6d.
      • Pictures of Riley. He was 8w4d when his heart stopped and he stopped growing, and he was born at 12 weeks.
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Our Goodbye

11/4/2017

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As we gather around to say Goodbye to you today
There are so many emotions words are hard for us to say
Only 96 days, your life was brief but each day was such a treasure
Mommy, Daddy, Brother and both Sisters loved you beyond measure
Grandparents, family and friends loved you and were eager to see your face
But today we all have to say farewell until we each finish our own race
Ean: God is Gracious and Gift From God is the meaning of your name
Though now you’re in Heaven our hopes and dreams for you are not the same
Although we try to remain strong our love spills out with each tear
But we are encouraged knowing you are forever with Jesus year after year
By God’s Grace you never knew suffering and from the cares of life you are free
And when we finally meet and embrace what a glorious day that will be!

By: HelenaC
November 4, 2017

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    Authentically ME

    I'm a wife of 25 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 7 babies waiting for me in Heaven.  I'm imperfect, often feel broken and I'm always learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. Though the ups and downs in this journey through life I have learned and am learning so much, I'll never stop learning. I hold myself to impossible standards yet I know I am imperfect and will keep trying, I keep dusting myself off and getting up to go again. I understand the uniqueness of every situation and person, I am ME and others are who they choose to be; I don't have to agree with you or you agree with me. I make no secret of my standards, do NOT harm children, do NOT destroy others health (physical, mental, spiritual or financial); that's my boundaries and what it takes to have access to me. If this is too much to ask feel free to move along and I let go with love and genuinely want the best for your present and future. Healing isn't a place of arrival, it's continuous, I have healed from many things and I am still healing; like an onion healing comes in layers, like the tides; healing comes in ebbs and flows. I love, I observe, I learn and forgetting the past/history leads to cycles of chaos and I refuse to forget and not remember; I will continue learning from the lessons.  I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings I have received both in happiness and pain. I don't have any licenses in Biblical Studies, or Health (physical, mental, spiritual, financial). I have background in military, health, service of others and individual trainings and research; I don't claim to be an expert on anything and I advise you to research and advocate for yourself as well as consult professionals.  I'm  sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life. Choose to remember but not fear, choose to enjoy the now and cherish priceless moments; look forward to changes knowing that lessons will come and more beautiful glimpses, love and joy are all available when you look closely at times from your past, moments within your present and the possibilities from your tomorrows. I am a survivor, I love deeply, I am a truth finder and I am a warrior, I am ME. Know you have strength, you have value, you are enough, you are worthy of peace and happiness, your boundaries are yours and it's okay to enforce them, you are loved, you are missed, you deserve support, your goodness to people and the world is noticed, you deserve to heal, your voice matters and you deserve to be seen and heard; best of all love yourself in your uniqueness flaws and all.

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  • Thoughts/Studies
  • My Losses
    • Why It’s Not “Just a Miscarriage”
    • Ean Rigel (Blog)
    • Riley Ember (Blog)
    • Pictures (ONLY CLICK TABS IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM. *Disclaimer: Images may be disturbing for some) >
      • Pictures of Ean. He was not full term, he was 13w2d when his heart stopped and he stopped growing, he was born 13w6d.
      • Pictures of Riley. He was 8w4d when his heart stopped and he stopped growing, and he was born at 12 weeks.
      • Pics of Willow. She was 8w2d when her heart stopped and she stopped growing; she was born 10w6d.
  • Never Forgotten Babies
  • Praying For You