We've all known at least one injustice collector and they can practically drive you insane if you accept everything they are trying to place on you particularly if you're a people pleaser. You can't successfully communicate with the irrational. Accept what's applies to you but don't keep beating yourself up or allow them to.
"Characteristics of Injustice Collectors
1. Injustice collectors are never wrong. How is it possible that they are never wrong? It’s simple: They are always right.
2. Injustice collectors never apologize. Ever. For anything.
3. Injustice collectors truly believe they are morally and ethically superior to others and that others seem incapable of holding themselves to the same high standards as the injustice collector does.
4. Injustice collectors make the rules, break the rules, and enforce the rules of the family. They are a combination of legislator, police, judge, and jury to those they consider their subjects. They forever banish from their kingdom any subject they deem disloyal, and only grant clemency if there is sufficient contrition.
5. Injustice collectors never worry about what is wrong with them as their “bad list” grows. Their focus is always on the failings of others.
6. Injustice collectors are never troubled by the disparity between their rules for others and their own expectations of themselves.
7. Injustice collectors rationalize their own behavior with great ease and comfort.
8. Injustice collectors have an external orientation; the problem always exists in the world, outside of themselves, and in their view, the world would be an acceptable place if their rules and standards were followed at all times.
9. Injustice collectors do not have a capacity for remorse or guilt.
10. Injustice collectors scoff at the idea of therapy, therapists, self- help books, and other tools used by people who struggle to live with them.
11. The phrase walking on eggshells describes life with an injustice collector.
When injustice collectors are determined to hurt someone, there seems no end to the weapons and poison they can wield to cause harm.
Characteristics of a People Pleaser
1. People pleasers are reactive to events, situations, and interactions, rarely taking the initiative to assert their own needs, wants, and desires into a situation.
2. People pleasers take any criticism as fact, and immediately suffer a deflation in their own self- esteem.
3. People pleasers feel an extraordinary fear of abandonment.
4. People pleasers blame themselves for everything that ever goes wrong. 5. People pleasers become more concerned with others’ feelings than their own.
6. People pleasers have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, expecting of themselves magical abilities to fix the significant others in their lives.
7. People pleasers learned early in their lives to bury their own feelings, needs, and wants, and keep them buried until they get help for their problems.
8. People pleasers chronically confuse pity with love and self- sacrifice with caring for others.
The injustice collector acts as an overgrown infant, only concerned about meeting his or her own needs for gratification. The people pleaser is locked into the vain attempt to accommodate the injustice collector. Unable to move beyond insults and slights, whether real or imagined, injustice collectors become consumed with three basic issues:
1. What they feel people did to them that was unnecessarily mean, hurtful, and thoughtless
2. What people did not do for them that they feel they should have done 3. When they feel the people in their lives have not done enough for them
As with small children, it never occurs to them, ever, that not everything is about them.
After a while you learn The subtle difference Between holding a hand And chaining a soul And you begin to learn That kisses aren’t contracts And presents aren’t promises And you begin to accept your defeats With your head up And your eyes open With the grace of a woman Not the grief of a child And you learn to build All your roads on today Because tomorrow’s ground Is too uncertain And futures have a way Of falling down in mid- flight After a while you learn That even sunshine burns If you get too much So you plant your own garden And decorate your own soul Instead of waiting For someone to bring you flowers And you learn That you really can endure That you really are strong That you really do have worth And you learn and learn With every goodbye you learn.
I'm a wife of 20 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 6 babies waiting for me up in Heaven. I'm imperfect, often broken and learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. You will find no condemnation from me. I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings God has given both in happiness and pain. I don't have any formal education in Biblical Studies and I don't claim to be an expert. I'm just sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life.