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Focus on the destination.

1/16/2014

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When I stop and think about it I’m often amazed at how things can make a connection for me and tie together.  I began thinking about something a friend once told me, “Don’t stare at the closed door for so long that you don’t notice the window God opened for you”.   I would see the closed door and stand there for so long waiting for it to reopen that I would fail to see the window and realize that the door was only what I wanted not what was best for me.  I begin to understand that life may not have went the direction I wanted it to go or been as straight a road as I would have liked but it’s what was needed and I had to take some of the turns or I wouldn’t be the person I am today.  I still have a long journey ahead of me but I see that God had a window open, a window that would put my focus directly on Him.  The Ark Noah built had one window at the top so they would keep focused on God instead of the storm, I too need to remain focused on Him not my storms.

I tied that in with a sermon our pastor taught about how to get to where you are going.  I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes it takes me longer than most to fully realize the lessons I should learn in life.  I’m not proud of that fact but I accept it and try to learn and apply what I did learn so I can avoid having them need to be reinforced by them occurring again and again.  Sometimes I’ll be moving along this road of life headed straight for my destination, the road is smooth and I don’t have any difficulty as long as I continue to keep my destination in mind.  Just as suddenly though bumps occur in the road, these bumps may be ones I saw coming but from a distance they didn’t look so big or they may just suddenly appear out of nowhere.  So what happens when these bumps in life occur, sometimes I go over the bumps and think to myself “wow that wasn’t necessarily the most fun but it’s over now and a few bumps aren’t going to discourage me from this journey, I’m still heading to my destination”.  Other times I’ll be moving along (sometimes moving too fast, other times I don’t think it’s dangerous or my thoughts are somewhere else) so when I hit the bumps and damage occurs I’ll stop and look at that damage for so long I end up stuck not moving anywhere.  I won’t always realize I’ve allowed myself to become stuck because I’ll sit and fret instead of realizing immediately that I need help or I’ll think it’s my own problem to solve and I must learn to fix it on my own.  Just like I’m not qualified to fix a car on my own I’m not qualified to fix my life on my own so I must go to the expert, Jesus.

We read in Matthew 14:27-31 But straightway Jesus spake unto them, saying, Be of good cheer; it is I; be not afraid. And Peter answered him and said, Lord, if it be thou, bid me come unto thee on the water. And he said, Come. And when Peter was come down out of the ship, he walked on the water, to go to Jesus. But when he saw the wind boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried, saying, Lord, save me. And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and caught him, and said unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

Peter walked on the water to Jesus.  He had his eyes on the destination (Jesus) but when he stopped and looked at the storms around him he began to sink.  I can’t count how many times in my lifetime that I have done the same thing.  I’m walking on the water with my eyes on Jesus but then I notice the storm around me and I begin to sink into those pits of despair.  Peter was quick to say “Lord, save me” yet I often allow myself to continue sinking and only cry out when I’m about to drown or only once I’ve been fully engulfed. 

Hebrews 12:1-2 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Too often I’ve gotten my eyes off of the finish line and have focused on the storm, the problem, the weight, or looked at people for too long.  I’ve been caught up in sin and once I was no longer blind to it I would become so focused on self-condemnation that there wasn’t much movement forward.  We are instructed to lay aside every weight not to drag it along with us and stop to pick it up and carry it again for a while.  Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-30  “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

This race isn’t going to be easy and many things are going to come along to distract us if we let them.  If we will just look unto Jesus we can keep going without sinking.  He will take care of that burden, that weight, that heartache and all that troubles us.  I think about where I would be had I quit and I’m thankful I did not. I also know that I will never reach my destination if I have my focus on other things and don’t continue moving forward.  I am reminded to press on because every race has a finish line and it won’t be reached if I stop or allow myself to drown in the storm.  I am not perfect and have not run my race perfectly but because of Jesus I’m again back on track.  I pray if you have lost your focus you are able to regain it too and that you don’t allow whatever troubles or storms are in your life to cause you to sink, continue your race.

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    Authentically ME

    I'm a wife of 25 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 7 babies waiting for me in Heaven.  I'm imperfect, often feel broken and I'm always learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. Though the ups and downs in this journey through life I have learned and am learning so much, I'll never stop learning. I hold myself to impossible standards yet I know I am imperfect and will keep trying, I keep dusting myself off and getting up to go again. I understand the uniqueness of every situation and person, I am ME and others are who they choose to be; I don't have to agree with you or you agree with me. I make no secret of my standards, do NOT harm children, do NOT destroy others health (physical, mental, spiritual or financial); that's my boundaries and what it takes to have access to me. If this is too much to ask feel free to move along and I let go with love and genuinely want the best for your present and future. Healing isn't a place of arrival, it's continuous, I have healed from many things and I am still healing; like an onion healing comes in layers, like the tides; healing comes in ebbs and flows. I love, I observe, I learn and forgetting the past/history leads to cycles of chaos and I refuse to forget and not remember; I will continue learning from the lessons.  I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings I have received both in happiness and pain. I don't have any licenses in Biblical Studies, or Health (physical, mental, spiritual, financial). I have background in military, health, service of others and individual trainings and research; I don't claim to be an expert on anything and I advise you to research and advocate for yourself as well as consult professionals.  I'm  sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life. Choose to remember but not fear, choose to enjoy the now and cherish priceless moments; look forward to changes knowing that lessons will come and more beautiful glimpses, love and joy are all available when you look closely at times from your past, moments within your present and the possibilities from your tomorrows. I am a survivor, I love deeply, I am a truth finder and I am a warrior, I am ME. Know you have strength, you have value, you are enough, you are worthy of peace and happiness, your boundaries are yours and it's okay to enforce them, you are loved, you are missed, you deserve support, your goodness to people and the world is noticed, you deserve to heal, your voice matters and you deserve to be seen and heard; best of all love yourself in your uniqueness flaws and all.

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  • Thoughts/Studies
  • My Losses
    • Why It’s Not “Just a Miscarriage”
    • Ean Rigel (Blog)
    • Riley Ember (Blog)
    • Pictures (ONLY CLICK TABS IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM. *Disclaimer: Images may be disturbing for some) >
      • Pictures of Ean. He was not full term, he was 13w2d when his heart stopped and he stopped growing, he was born 13w6d.
      • Pictures of Riley. He was 8w4d when his heart stopped and he stopped growing, and he was born at 12 weeks.
      • Pics of Willow. She was 8w2d when her heart stopped and she stopped growing; she was born 10w6d.
  • Never Forgotten Babies
  • Praying For You