We've all known at least one injustice collector and they can practically drive you insane if you accept everything they are trying to place on you particularly if you're a people pleaser. You can't successfully communicate with the irrational. Accept what's applies to you but don't keep beating yourself up or allow them to.
"Characteristics of Injustice Collectors 1. Injustice collectors are never wrong. How is it possible that they are never wrong? It’s simple: They are always right. 2. Injustice collectors never apologize. Ever. For anything. 3. Injustice collectors truly believe they are morally and ethically superior to others and that others seem incapable of holding themselves to the same high standards as the injustice collector does. 4. Injustice collectors make the rules, break the rules, and enforce the rules of the family. They are a combination of legislator, police, judge, and jury to those they consider their subjects. They forever banish from their kingdom any subject they deem disloyal, and only grant clemency if there is sufficient contrition. 5. Injustice collectors never worry about what is wrong with them as their “bad list” grows. Their focus is always on the failings of others. 6. Injustice collectors are never troubled by the disparity between their rules for others and their own expectations of themselves. 7. Injustice collectors rationalize their own behavior with great ease and comfort. 8. Injustice collectors have an external orientation; the problem always exists in the world, outside of themselves, and in their view, the world would be an acceptable place if their rules and standards were followed at all times. 9. Injustice collectors do not have a capacity for remorse or guilt. 10. Injustice collectors scoff at the idea of therapy, therapists, self- help books, and other tools used by people who struggle to live with them. 11. The phrase walking on eggshells describes life with an injustice collector. When injustice collectors are determined to hurt someone, there seems no end to the weapons and poison they can wield to cause harm. Characteristics of a People Pleaser 1. People pleasers are reactive to events, situations, and interactions, rarely taking the initiative to assert their own needs, wants, and desires into a situation. 2. People pleasers take any criticism as fact, and immediately suffer a deflation in their own self- esteem. 3. People pleasers feel an extraordinary fear of abandonment. 4. People pleasers blame themselves for everything that ever goes wrong. 5. People pleasers become more concerned with others’ feelings than their own. 6. People pleasers have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, expecting of themselves magical abilities to fix the significant others in their lives. 7. People pleasers learned early in their lives to bury their own feelings, needs, and wants, and keep them buried until they get help for their problems. 8. People pleasers chronically confuse pity with love and self- sacrifice with caring for others. The injustice collector acts as an overgrown infant, only concerned about meeting his or her own needs for gratification. The people pleaser is locked into the vain attempt to accommodate the injustice collector. Unable to move beyond insults and slights, whether real or imagined, injustice collectors become consumed with three basic issues: 1. What they feel people did to them that was unnecessarily mean, hurtful, and thoughtless 2. What people did not do for them that they feel they should have done 3. When they feel the people in their lives have not done enough for them As with small children, it never occurs to them, ever, that not everything is about them. ~Mark Sichel"
2 Comments
renate DM
2/23/2018 01:37:34 pm
I am a healing people pleaser and I am confused
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Helena
2/24/2018 09:53:28 pm
I apologize for the delay in my reply. I typed a reply earlier and thought maybe it just took time but instead it got lost somewhere in cyberspace when I hit submit. Maybe I was too wordy and it was gone by grand design.
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Authentically ME
I'm a wife of 25 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 7 babies waiting for me in Heaven. I'm imperfect, often feel broken and I'm always learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. Though the ups and downs in this journey through life I have learned and am learning so much, I'll never stop learning. I hold myself to impossible standards yet I know I am imperfect and will keep trying, I keep dusting myself off and getting up to go again. I understand the uniqueness of every situation and person, I am ME and others are who they choose to be; I don't have to agree with you or you agree with me. I make no secret of my standards, do NOT harm children, do NOT destroy others health (physical, mental, spiritual or financial); that's my boundaries and what it takes to have access to me. If this is too much to ask feel free to move along and I let go with love and genuinely want the best for your present and future. Healing isn't a place of arrival, it's continuous, I have healed from many things and I am still healing; like an onion healing comes in layers, like the tides; healing comes in ebbs and flows. I love, I observe, I learn and forgetting the past/history leads to cycles of chaos and I refuse to forget and not remember; I will continue learning from the lessons. I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings I have received both in happiness and pain. I don't have any licenses in Biblical Studies, or Health (physical, mental, spiritual, financial). I have background in military, health, service of others and individual trainings and research; I don't claim to be an expert on anything and I advise you to research and advocate for yourself as well as consult professionals. I'm sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life. Choose to remember but not fear, choose to enjoy the now and cherish priceless moments; look forward to changes knowing that lessons will come and more beautiful glimpses, love and joy are all available when you look closely at times from your past, moments within your present and the possibilities from your tomorrows. I am a survivor, I love deeply, I am a truth finder and I am a warrior, I am ME. Know you have strength, you have value, you are enough, you are worthy of peace and happiness, your boundaries are yours and it's okay to enforce them, you are loved, you are missed, you deserve support, your goodness to people and the world is noticed, you deserve to heal, your voice matters and you deserve to be seen and heard; best of all love yourself in your uniqueness flaws and all. Archives
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