Losses...

I do not understand why we have experienced so many losses. Ean was 13w3d when we were told his heart stopped the day before, at 13w2d, we were out of the common timeframe of worry for miscarriage. Two babies never made it to have a heartbeat in 1999 & 2002. We then battled infertility until the positive test and ultrasound confirmed I was pregnant with Ash, overjoyed with our healthy baby boy. Then we faced secondary infertility before I became pregnant with Arya and oh the heartbreaking time I experienced through others opinions. She was born early but strong. Kira-Li was conceived the cycle we could try after tubal reversal and has kept me in my toes since. We tried one time for Ean and he lived to 13w2d and we tried one cycle for Riley and he lived to 8w4d. We’ve been trying for 6 months and each month I see negative tests. I believe we have another baby waiting for the right time to join us so I’m praying for peace and when I do have another positive pregnancy test our baby grows, is healthy, and we will be given the opportunity to raise the baby to adulthood.