I do not understand why we have experienced so many losses. Ean was 13w3d when we were told his heart stopped the day before, at 13w2d, we were out of the common timeframe of worry for miscarriage. Two babies never made it to have a heartbeat in 1999 & 2002. We then battled infertility until the positive test and ultrasound confirmed I was pregnant with Ash, overjoyed with our healthy baby boy. Then we faced secondary infertility before I became pregnant with Arya and oh the heartbreaking time I experienced through others opinions. She was born early but strong. Kira-Li was conceived the cycle we could try after tubal reversal and has kept me in my toes since. We tried one time for Ean and he lived to 13w2d and we tried one cycle for Riley and he lived to 8w4d. We’ve been trying for 6 months and each month I see negative tests. I believe we have another baby waiting for the right time to join us so I’m praying for peace and when I do have another positive pregnancy test our baby grows, is healthy, and we will be given the opportunity to raise the baby to adulthood.
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I'm a wife of 20 years to a husband that consistently chooses to love me despite my flaws and a mother of 3 wonderful, loving and giving children. I have 6 babies waiting for me up in Heaven. I'm imperfect, often broken and learning; you will see many aspects of what makes me the person I am throughout this blog. You will find no condemnation from me. I have my fair share of problems and battles, I win some and lose some but by God's grace I'm continuing in the good fight. I'm attempting to live life authentically and I enjoy the many blessings God has given both in happiness and pain. I don't have any formal education in Biblical Studies and I don't claim to be an expert. I'm just sharing experiences and lessons I am learning or trying to learn as I go through life.