Grief and testing

Today was Granny's funeral (husband's mom), she passed suddenly from a heart attack February 5th. I have so many emotions I can't even begin to explain them. Last night I decided I wanted to wear purple because it was her favorite color and I couldn't find the shirt I was looking for anywhere so I ended up sitting on the floor of our laundry room bawling my eyes out leaving everyone to wonder if I lost all sanity. Thankfully my husband found it while I was sitting there sobbing and praying. I also took a pregnancy test this morning knowing it was most likely going to show negative because 6 days past ovulation is just too early but by some thought I imagined it may be a miracle on a very sad day. Of course it was negative but that was expected.