Anxiety

The end of pregnancy brings much anxiety whether it’s a healthy full term pregnancy and birth can occur any moment or if it’s a missed miscarriage and you’re waiting any moment to miscarry ending the pregnancy. Difference is at the end of a healthy full term pregnancy there’s usually joy and with a missed miscarriage while grief begins the moment you hear there’s no heartbeat it becomes more intense once you’re no longer carrying the baby. When you’re unsure of when delivery will occur it generally won’t stop you from leaving home at full term but with miscarriage it’s terrifying because you fear you’ll lose your baby down a public toilet. This side of Heaven we’ll never know why we lost Riley Ember or even know gender for sure because sending baby for testing they won’t return for burial. I just know most likely the loss was caused by something genetic that couldn’t be prevented and I believe Riley Ember was a boy. So I wait and I pray that I don’t have to have surgery so we’re still able to bury Riley Ember.